things have totally changed, im doing great and honestly, i couldnt be happier. i love college, i love UD. dont get me wrong, i miss home like hell, but when i really think about it..the main thing i was missing so much was a relationship and i knew that, but now i realize and understand that. im moving on and it feels good to not be upset and worrying what he's doing every second. i still love him as a friend and if things end up happening again, then so be it..everything happens for a reason..and we all know that i truly believe that. 

there is a boy on my floor who annoys the hell out of most ppl, but i think he is really cool to talk to and he has a good perspective on things...it really hit me last night b4 we left to go out when he asked why i was stuck for so long on this boy from home, and why i tried to hold on to the relationship for so long when im a good looking girl who can find a guy easily if she wanted to..and who should know that after seeing how easy it is to meet new guys everytime we go out.  im not sure how exactly he worded it, but whatever he said totally made sense and i was like wow, what the hell am i doing worrying over this kid and hoping things will work out.  i cant thank steve enough for giving me that insight and i really admire him as a person even though the majority of my floor thinks he's an idiot.

but anyhow,im finally good here and i hope that when i go home, i can go home and see my family and my friends and not worry about making sure i see him.

but that doesnt mean i cant wait until christmas vacation..and thanksgiving vacation..bc im totally excited!! but actually, im really going to miss the ppl here while im gone because we've become family and i love them so much.

love always,
Lindsey

im still upset, im still sad and on top of all of it, im homesick and i miss shillington and i miss my car and my family and friends. i miss what high school was like. i like college, but some of these people are so dumb and annoying and totally not the type of ppl that i would ever associate myself with or hang out with. on the other hand, there are a few people her that i like and who dont annoy me, but for the most part, everyone just wants to get drunk and get drunk and get drunk. beer is gross, i had one and i hated it and it's dumb..you want to know why kids get fucking fat in college...it's bc they drink and drink and drink. and it's the dumbest shit ive ever heard of but i hate it.

i miss driving home late at night and knowing that i just hung out with my my best friends. i mean, on the positive side, i dont have any boy drama and i dont have to fucking worry about fucking kyle sands letting me down like he did everyday for like the entire last month i was in shillington. and im sorry, but if you love someone, then you would want things to work and no matter what shit he told me, he just wanted ass and he used me. dont get me wrong, he was the best boyfriend ive had so far and he treated me so nicely and i treated him the same, but after things went bad...it was like the only time we hung out was late late at night and everyone can assume what we did.

but enough of him. he's an ass and he'll realize what mistake he made. i can do so much better than him, i mean hell..im at the fucking university of delaware...im one of the 3300 ppl that got accepted out of a total of 15,000 ppl who wanted to go here..that is amazing. im going to make something of myself and im not going to worry about him anymore. if he wants that girl, he can have her. if he wants sex..then he can def. have her.

enough of complaining because im too good for this. i just miss everything and i miss what i know and ive been so close to losing it and crying for the past couple of days. i just want everything to be okay and i want to feel as comfortable here as i did at home every single day

i love all of you who have stayed true to me and who havent hurt me

<3

I love Kyle

4/21/06

Love..
 
a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair, an intense emotional attachment for something, an expression of one's affection, you can't help who you fall for or who you love.

Forget..
 
to leave behind, to treat with thoughtless inattention, to fail to mention, very hard to do completely in some situations..if at all.

Nostalgia..

a longing for things, persons, or situations of the past, causes much pain.

<3

i feel like ive been kicked in the head about 5 times and as i try to recover from such a shock, i feel like my heart has just stopped. in that phone call, and with those words, i still can't believe it.  

how the hell did we end up like this
why weren't we able
to see the signs that we missed
and try to turn the tables 

don't good things happen to good people?